Once again, running head against the personal boundaries and blocks, that are a drag on career and harmonious communication with loved ones, we begin to look for a psychologist – a person who will lead from problems to their efficient resolution. How to avoid issues without “buying a pig in a poke” and to find a good specialist you can count on?
What do you think, why is the visit to a psychologist often postponed until the very last day?
Problems accompany people throughout their lives. And we cope with the task, deep down. It’s of no importance – for heaven or hell. The quality of life is lost on as bad if you do not know the alternatives. You can try to get rid of plummet of cares yourself and believing that this is the smallest potatoes. Many people should avoid even giving the impression that it is possible to overcome difficult situations not alone. And when a thought appeared, the problem usually has gone a bridge too far. It took off from there. While the person hesitates and postpones the visit to a specialist, the questions become even more serious. The most frequent reasons for such behavior are shame, fear and anxiety, doubts, distrust and the hope that everything will “go away” of its own accord.
How to send a loved one who needs help to the psychologist?
There are two ways: in no way (harrow and alas!), or through personal example and awareness-building that it is a safe and many people visit specialists of this kind. It is impossible to force somebody’s hand. If a person does not want help, he can not be forced. Sometimes there are stubborn people who are able to convince anyone. But the result will still be zero – from the side of a closed one the visit to a psychologist becomes a favor like “okay, I’ll visit” with a pre-negative spirit. Psychotherapy is a matter of sincere desire. Another case is to tell, clarify and invite to a trial meeting.
It is important to learn to understand that not your loved one needs psychological help, but you want calmness that everything is fine with him. Sometimes it is necessary to leave as they are the processes which cannot be impacted. And that requires visiting a psychologist of your own.
How long we need to visit a psychologist?
The universal recipe like “10 sessions will be enough to be happy” does not exist. The duration of therapy is individual and depends on how serious the problem is with the client. Also, the pursued goals must be taken into account – the solution of the situational problem or the elaboration of a deep, long-standing issue is to be faced.
The psychotherapist could recommend and justify, whether to continue or suspend the work is necessary. But in any case, how many sessions are needed to retreat the exciting process the patient has to decide himself. It is sometimes necessary 25 sessions to approach the crux of problem. The effect rarely comes at once, and from the month of therapy it is rare to wait for miracles.
How soon could the result be noticeable?
Before answering this question, I want to clarify an important detail. At the first meeting it would be nice to find out exactly which results the client expects and whether psychotherapy can guarantee these changes in general.
Much depends on the global nature of the desired goal. Sometimes a client wants the impossible – to change the type of temperament or completely erase something from the memory. Psychotherapy is not hypnosis, but rather learning to live in own reality and accept it. The speed of obtaining such a result is exactly influenced by the client’s attitude: his activity, involvement, determination and trust. And what is more, there are explanations of the psychologist about how the therapy will be provided and what processes will lead to changes. This is yet about honesty between the client and the specialist.
How to understand that a psychologist is a professional, but not a charlatan?
First, it’s necessary to clarify his education and do not be ashamed to ask about regalia. Secondly, it will not hurt to find out how many hours of personal therapy the psychologist has, how often he visits the supervisor, what topics he does not work with (each specialist has his own limitations!) It may therefore be asked if he has a personal website, articles in the media or specialized publications. And the most important criterion is an individual compatibility. In the search for “one’s own” psychologist, as in any case, it is important not to be afraid to try.
How to understand that this is the “one and only” psychologist and you can choose precisely him?
First of all, you need to focus on your own feelings. What the psychologist says and asks, should be understandable and not irritating. Secondly, the client must fully arrange the contract to be concluded. Namely, it means the cost of services, time and place of meetings. It would be good, if a specialist answers questions directly, and, as appropriate, to clarify something there is no fear of being misunderstood. When you meet with your “own” psychologist, confidential communication will be established after 3-5 meetings and even then you can notice the first positive changes.
What does the work with the psychologist end with?
It’s the achievement of the result. When the original goal is achieved and no new ones are put, the therapy can be completed or suspended. This decision always remains for the client, but ideally it is agreed upon. The therapist can offer to prolong therapy with an explanation of the reasons, but never he will never try to manipulate and detain a person “forcibly”.
To complete the therapy correctly it takes from one to ten meetings (depending on the length of the passed course). And indeed, often is, that the client simply stops visiting on one of his known reasons.
When choosing a psychologist, it is better to weigh everything, to feel deeply and make some efforts to avoid the consequences of unsuccessful communication. Take your time and do not make decisions in the “fever”, listen to yourself and look for someone who is right for you!